Something that jump straight off my mind and dance on my keyboard

Membuncah dan begah

Terseok menahan remuk tulang

Pecah kulit tersengat

Cermin pun harus berbohong

Tubuh menetak

Pecah

Tanah yang meliat

Elastis

Tertarik

Terdorong

Terbanting

Peluh

Sakit

Tapi tak hancur

Bakar… bakarlah tembikar

Menghitam

Mengeras

Biar perapian memuntahkan benjana baru

Dari aku

Dari tanganmu

Punyamu

Untuk kami

Dekat

Belum pernah lebih dekat

Didalamku

Yang membuncah dan begah

Dekat

Dekat sekali


Menyemburat senyum 

Biar terpanggang

Biar luka

Aku dan benjanaku


Dekat
Dekat sekali

YES!!!! I'm included in the round up.

Uuuh Yeah!!! Oooh Joy!!! I am so so very happy.
My recent love story with cooking is finally shows some progress. Not just that I enjoy the cooking process or eating the result and lovin' Simon's yummifying it, but also in taking picture of it. I think my new love story is growing with food Photography.

In regards to this last love story i mention above, I finally made it to Cooking Community on Internet called Masak Bareng Yuuuk! I got to know and bookmarked several blog of much experienced friends and got really inspired.

Well, this month I decided that I'm brave enough to include my recipe and photo for this months theme Egg-Based Dish. Lucky for me, my better-half bought me a BBC cooking book and I found a simple recipe, Greek Salad omelet, that contain two of my fave food items, black olives and feta cheese. Plus, when it was done the smell and taste of parsley with cooked omelet was really divine. Simon, on the other hand, don't fancy olives. No biggie, he just have to chuck them to my plate. Anyway, I made it to the round up! Together with much experience friends I have been drooling over their blog all this time. To see the round up result click here.
Hehehehe... It's just a small thing of course... but it made me really happy to find a new hobby that I really enjoy. Who knows it can bring fortune one day. ^_^

And to my honey, Thanks for letting me borrow the camera plus cheering me upand ran around crazy taking picture of the food. Luv ya!!!

To get the complete recipe of Greek Salad Omelet click  here.

3 New Discoveries

Good Morning all!! At least it is morning here ini UK. 6. 45 am to be precise.
Anyhow, those 3 new discoveries are revelations, marks of a new beginning (???)
Babble... babble... bablle... in short

Discovery #1
I no longer fit in my clothes. At least the clothes I brought from Indonesia. Those I wish I can wear for summer. We were doing a bit of spring cleaning yesterday and finding time to sort through clothes. You know, winter has passed and summer is around the corner. Time to packed up the thick jackets shawls etc and put some colors and mini dresses \(^,^)/....
It's no biggie... I know... but learning to be realistic, I need to put aside, donate or throw away those clothes I love. C'Mon, it will probably be loooong time before i can fit in them again. By that time, I reckon I rather buy new ones.... HEY KA-CHING!!! YAY!!! blessing in disguise... a perfect reason for SHOPPING!!!

Discovery #2
Public toilets in Brighton, UK are awesome. I think I have befriended most of them. From supermarket's toilet, park toilet's, restaurant toilet's, railway and airport's toilet etc. I am very glad that they were all in great condition. Not smelly, clean and dry. oh well not germ free of course. C'Mon it's PUBLIC toilets.
But with my present condition I want to thank the council staff and volunteer workers who worked very hard keeping public toilet clean. People might underestimate and sometimes disrespect you, but you'all have done great to add to our comfort. THANK YOU!!!

Discovery #3
I loooove cooking. Surprisingly! Can't say I'm good at it. But I love the process and of course result. Best part is if it turned out to be (surprisingly) yummy - apart from surprise it is actually edible - is the nummy noise we made on the table yummifying the food. hehehehehe... Thanks to my better-half who never complained and always joyful to finish anything I put on the table.
With my ever increasing need and craving to eat, I have fun playing the role of financial manager. Making sure little can go a long way and still be nutritious, balance and healthy. So far so good....
And on promotional note... visit my foodie blog where I put complete recipe of my cooking. Mind you, it's beginner's cooking but fun enough to try.
Now, please agree with me.. there's no such things as I can't cook. Everyone can cook.
You just need to put aside time, be brave and have fun. What my better-half said, "cooking should be fun and daring. and Adventure". I mean he is getting good at cooking too. He's much daring and adventurous with ingredients and sometime put other ingredients (that we don't usually put) in his cooking and it turned out just as great as it is with his twist on it. Anyhow, try cooking and have fun...

Oh well, I am celebrating little things in life. Nothing in life is a coincidence. God is only too good for us.
Be blessed all

After A Great Weekend - I'm Browning

Monday! Do I love monday... Yeah pretty much...
Anyhow, I had a great weekend. It's proper spring to summer weather.
I ditched the extra layer of long-sleeved + stocking and long johns, shaved my legs (lol!!!), put on mini sack dress, sunglasses, lotion and headed out to the glorious sun.
It's something about the sun that makes you feel so ALIVE!!
Of course, back home I'll be (sometimes if not always) cursing the hot weather. But after a looong winter I am ready to embrace the sun.

We spend 2 days in a row at the beach with the view that of course - a feast to any man's eyes.
Sprawling semi naked bodies on the beach and parades of bare shaved legs and sexy shoulders are literally EVERYWHERE!! In the lawn in front of the church, small parks, stairs in front of the house any place with sun. People are sun-hogging. Simon and I giggled at these new 'species' which last week, when the temp was still nippy, was nowhere to be seen.

Sunblock and sun lotion with high SPF has gone up by 100% this weekend. Which remind me I need to get one too. I find my skin, esp my nose, burns easily now. At least I do not want to ended up like a lost Rudolph in Summer.

Alright, the day promise a great sunny and warm. I'm gonna enjoy it. Coz by Thursday it will plummet a bit.

Happy Sunny Days!!

Finally!!!

**Grinning ear-to-ear**

I've been wanting to write for a loooooooong time now. The excuse were lazy, no mood, lost of energy and no mood. So today, out of no apparent reason - no sudden bells ringing or light shone from above - I'm just in the mood for writing (again).

**Lips pouting** Alright!!!.... **Scratching my nose** What to write???
AHA! Random Notes ... (bear with me!!!)

- I need to start editing and uploading pictures and notes for my foodie blog as promised to several friends. Sorry girls, tiredness just get the better of me.
- Write down shopping list for next week for tomorrow.
- Set new goals and new routine for my daily exercise. I've been doing 4 laps of brisk walk around The Level Park plus go up and down the 'hill' to our house. I've been thinking of adding new routine such as window shopping at London Road and North Laine. LOL!!!
- The kitchen floor needs scrubbing... Hmmmm... whether I want and in the mood for that. Let's see...
- Decide whether my new hobby of moving the TV (it's a small TV!!!) from bedroom to kitchen or dining room so I can watch my fav daytime TV is a good one? My better-half said I'm turning into "ibu rumah tangga" (not that it's a bad thing to be one though- but on the point of being addicted to soap opera - Arrrghh Sinetron). Hmmm... Maybe 'Desperate Housewife' hehehehehe.
Mind you... I'm hooked on cooking show and Murder-Investigation Drama plus of course Neighbors and Home and Away which we can call Sinetron.
- Spring weather is awfull in the meantime. Nippy and rainy... Oh What a great british Weather...

Alright, that's about it now. I'm off doing stuff

Sunday Blessing

I'm being nauseated for the last few months and frankly now I began to miss enjoying my food without hating it on the 5^th spoon. This morning I woke up feeling queasy too so I decided to lie for a while in bed… praying… thinking… daydreaming…

I remember one lesson we talked about often at home about blessing of contentment… or blessing to enjoy… Well… here I am struggling with the right English term for it… mind you this is 6 am and my brain is everywhere right now. 

In Indonesia we call is “Karunia Menikmati” – roughly translated as blessing to be able to enjoy what we have - And of all the blessings we used to ask God in our prayer, I guess this is one blessing we somehow forgot to mention. We ask for happiness, success, wealth, to be kept away from danger and harm etc etc.

No matter how much we have - a lot or little – blessing of enjoyment of being content in what we have will make everything worthwhile and that will bring happiness. So many of us embark in the ladder of life where we get better position in work and receive better salary, then what happen. Our needs grow more and more. We somehow never seem to have enough. We became “greedy” because we cannot be happy with what we have right now. Just look around, there are more people who have much less than what you have but they live and they survive. For every animal God provide shelter and food. For us God will do even more… only if we first learn to be happy with what we have, to be content with enormous blessing of life we receive every new day…

So Dear God… give me today a blessing of contentment – for me to enjoy fully your blessings in my life no matter how little or how big it is… and to share it with others…

Teach us O God to count our blessings so we may receive a heart full of wisdom

Happy Sunday!

Passing 2009 to 2010

31 Dec 2009 - The Last Day of 2009
Wow!! What a feeling! I have woke up to 365 new days sometimes with big hope sometimes with a moody feeling. Adults breathe in average between 18,000 - 30,000 per day meaning that in average I had breathe between 6,570,000 – 10,950,000 times in 2009. I am alive and breathing. So Thank You God for the blessing of life. For every single breath that I take, I worship You, My God, My Creator and My Salvation.

This is my second year away from my big family in Ambon for both Christmas and New Year. But this year is special, Simon and I got to spend Christmas and New Year with our small family that God put together. He he he he… whenever I think about it I got the tingle in a silly place… like it start in my toes make me crinkle my nose… whenever I go the feeling shows… he he he he….. We also do not travel anywhere for this holiday time – in anticipation for the 2010 plan – we simply savor every second we have.

My habit for the last few years, watching the last sunrise of the last day of the year then the sunset that marked the end of the daylight in the year and of course, the sunrise of the new year. So here I am in Brighton, UK sat on my window with a mug of hot tea with milk – British Tea. I meant to go out to the beach but Alas the weather is not very friendly at the moment. The wind is blowing pretty hard, I can hear it banging my window. There’s a light rain outside with temperature of 4 C. The wind 13mph and wind chill at 0 C… so yes… it is cold outside.

I parted our curtain to let the sunshine in and I can see it now slowly coming in although it is gloomy outside. I am waiting for the sun to go high. Allowing the ray of sun chased the dark away. While waiting for the sun, I made a collage of the picture from Dec 2008 to Dec 2009. Let me tell you stories behind those pictures...

Dec 2008 - My and the Snowman. That's my first snowman and first snow during my study in US. I miss everyone in Hartford. I met new best friends, sisters and family apart from the knowledge from my study. I thank Rev. Jacky Manuputty for unforgettable learning and experience money can't buy.

Dec 08 - Jan 09 - Simon and me travel some cities in Europe for Christmas and New Year, Amsterdam, Paris, Brussel, Maastricht, Volendam, Voorthuisen. Never in our wildest dream we can do that. God is Good to us.

April 2009 - Sherman Street and Friends first Outdoor spring breakfast together.

May 2009 - I think this is the barbecue afternoon after we completed the papers and exams. A Spring party with lecturers, students and family.

May 2009 - The Women Leadership Institute last day group pictures. Here are my soul sisters. I miss the once a month session.

May 2009 - Also marked my graduation from Hartford Seminary. Pheew... I never thought I would make it. Thank you God.

June 2009 - Reem's farewell and also farewell to most of us who will depart home. I am one of those people flying home.

July 2009 - Young Ambassadors for Peace workshop. I miss those spark when I am around these wonderful young people.

October 2009 - Here's me and Simon in UK. We will be here for 1 year!!!

----

31 Dec 2009   4.45PM The sun has finally set for 2009. Yes, the sun sets at 4 PM because it's daylight saving. We had our dinner and prepare to head out to the Brighton Pier at Sea front to join streams of people looking forward for 2010.

Seafront was packed with people from all over the world. Travelers, tourists and local people joined together. Exactly at Midnight, people started to launched fireworks and they also launched Lanterns, paper lanterns. It's like Chinese new year lantern only it's not red but white paper. Soon the sky was filled with flying lantern carrying hopes, dreams and prayers for a better 2010. In the back ground, fire works boom booming, people cheering, waves splashed the pebbles and music from seafront pub and bars. Simon and I stood in embrace sharing our hopes and dreams...lift a thankful prayer to God the Almighty... We have our lantern flying upwards too... in the shape of our hearts. Happy 2010

Summing up!

 Simon is busy studying and finishing his assignment (something I -perhaps- miss now... lol...). The Uni is closed so he study home. I am too lazy to go out and about doing my exploring of the city's streets and corner so I propped my pillow up, bundle up under the blanket with hot water bottle inside for extra warmth and perhaps do a little Christmas sum up!

Thursday, 24 Dec 2004
Still a bit tired from our London Escapade 2 days ago. I rushed to church to volunteer preparing Community Christmas Dinner. We have about 100 people to feed for Christmas and another 100 for Boxing day - the day after Christmas. It was a great fun. I love mussing around in the kitchen and consider myself as a good help to our Chef Martin. Well, it turned out that most volunteer didn't make it and it was only Chef Martin, me and another woman, whom name I forgot by now. We prepared a traditional English Christmas Meal. Turkey with stuffing, Brussels sprout, potatoes, carrot, gammon as well as some more cookies, cakes and snacks for people to bring home. I was in charge for preparing Brussels sprout for both days as well as chopping tons of carrots. Then I helped Chef Martin for the most important task... tasting the turkey stuffing... lol... indeed the most satisfying task. My first encounter with Turkey (the big bird or chicken **giggling**) was in 2008 Thanksgiving Dinner at Diann Bailey's house.

Anyway, as soon as the cooking preparation is done. we headed out to the dinning room to set the table. We did a very nice job to beautify the simple dining room with colored table linen, choc in wrap that we made last week etc. Simon took a nice picture of the hard work when we head back to the church for Christmas Eve Midnight Mass.

The Midnight Mass was very intimate with dimmed light and candle to infuse introspective and serene atmosphere. Surprisingly, I was asked to be the Cantor... or lead singer on one of the song, "It Came Upon The Midnight Clear".

What I've learned in the kitchen today was how stress free and simple preparation it is to cook a European food compared to Indonesian food. Goodness... We might have been half way finished with the food while Indonesian food had just reach the grinding of ingredients stage... lol... but one thing for sure... those tedious job of Indonesian food made it unbeatable in flavor and what a feast to the eye, tongue and stomach it is...


Friday, 25 Dec 2009

It's CHRISTMAS!!! I'm soooo happy. Simon and I exchanged presents and headed to Church. it was lovely day and we sang many songs. What warmed my heart so much was the look in Miillie and Talie's face. These are our pastor's children. Millie wanted a White Tiger Doll so much she cannot stop talking about it. And Tallie loves Dinosaurs and had drew great picture of them and even know much about their details. So Simon and I secretly get Millie a White Tiger Doll and a Dinosaur Sketch Tutorial Pack for Tallie. They brought it to church this morning and how they beam with happiness. We asked the parents not to tell them who this is from. Millie is now inseparable from Lakshmi, the White Tiger and Tallie drew more amazing picture of Dinosaur with more details to the muscle and movement. Aaahhh... I'm happy.

The service then continued with the Community Christmas which was having meal together. Those who came were those who have no one to celebrate Christmas with - most of them are old people where their children and grandchildren do not come to see them, the homeless people, and some new people in town. Simon and I sat together with 3 old but very nice people, Ann, Muriel and Thomas as well as Abby, an elderly woman in wheel chair. Toward the End I manage to steal a member of the neighboring table to engage with our table.. he he eh... his name is Andre from Poland. New to town still learning English.

The food was great, I know I helped cook it. The table was festive and people are happy with the chocolate bundle in their place mats. Also the church give-away Christmas presents everyone. I of course already know since I helped wrap everything up. he he he... absolute fun of a volunteer.. you got the sneak peek of everything. Anyway, after the mid-day meal - which instead of calling it Christmas Lunch, they called it Christmas Dinner - came the sing along session where everyone took part in it.

In the evening, Simon and I set table in our small and cramped kitchen with red table cloth and gold table runner. Aaahhh It looks very christmasy. Hhhhh.... **sighing with a smile**
I wish everyone had a wonderful and blessed Christmas as we did. Thank You, Lord Jesus!

So This is Christmas...

"... And what have you done... another year's over... the new one just begun..."

I've been humming to this song these last 2 days as well as this morning when I woke up.
I did wake up to humming this song out of the bed and wow... how it is true. I walked to our electric kettle and push the on button to boil the water. I fancy a hot cream tea this cold morning. Then I headed to my laptop, switched on and log on to my Facebook. Hhhhhhhhh.... (happy sigh).... My Facebook is flooded with Christmas greetings, cards and pictures. Thank you all who have sent me all those blessings. Just know one thing, I sat there looking at my screen with Biiiiggg smile and intense warmth feeling that I don't need that hot cream tea anymore.

If I look to my right, I see my husband's sleeping face from between our small christmas tree branches. Yes, we're still recovering from our intense London trip the other day. I smiled to the fact that... I'm a married woman. I know I am changed in one way or another such as... I am more fuzzy about domestic stuffs, enjoy... no wait... fall in love with cooking and I guess I felt more settle to have a firm ground to stand. I think I am so blessed. ** smiling**... I don't have a fairy tale kind of marriage where eveything is happily ever after forever. I am not saying that I am not happy too... but it's a different kind of happy.

It's not a Cinderella story as we read in books or watch on TV. After married to the prince, Cinderella realized that the Prince always (exageratting a bit) forgets to close all doors to cupboard, wardrobe or fridge. Since we are living in a shared house, I am always aggitated when my Prince turn the TV volume more than scale 4. H ehe he he.... then he will sniff and call me "Grouchy Grammma". Sometimes we have diffrent way of conveying what we mean and understand it differently... yes... misunderstanding that leads to sulking, a bit voice raising and refuse to talk to each other for sometime (never more than 1 day though)... trust me I hate this moment, one of the reason is... I have stiff neck for trying to avoid looking at me.

But undaubtedly, I am very happy... I mean very very very happy. There are more positive and beautiful things to be cherised and thankful about that those minor aggravated moments. That on certain things the Prince is neater and more organized than Cinderella. That the Mars and Venus principle are not constant and can be taken as it is.... I have a more Martian way on certain matter and He has some Venusian way on certain matter. That my Prince is always ever so helpful in domestic chores. And so on... the list goes on and on and on. **say this with big smile on my face**

So what have I done this year? Well.... I have done many many things... But what have I done to my God that would be pleasing to His heart? I guess I didn't give Him much joy than HE gave me. He have me more joy and blessings more than I can imagine. A continuous opportunity for me to learn from my mistakes to try to be a better me, a great marriage with a magnificent husband, a great family back home and new family found here in foreign land, opportunity for my study and self-improvement etc. Thank you Jesus for unlimited love and blessing YOU gave me.

And today is Christmas, the day to celebrate your coming to the World. Despite all those "intelligent" reasoning that christmas is pagan celebration and that YOU were not born in December. Whatever that is... I am celebrating my faith in YOU. My faith goes beyond that because by faith and by experiece I have seen the work of YOUR mighty hands. A few weeks ago we have a chat with a friend and she sort of snicker on the idea of "Leap of Faith" saying "So what do you expect? Do you think when you pray God will send money down from the sky?"... - I am flabergasted - I want to jump on her face and said "YES YES"... money (or whatever we need) might now falling literally from sky, but GOD provide and God use many channel and means to deliver it to us. Look at me and Simon, we put our faith to God and we have never never lack anything. God provide on the right time, never too late or too soon. And mind you, this is a chruch goers person who said this to me. It is sad when you "intelligize" faith and to see it merely as religion and a set of dogma to be scrutinized. It is sad when you see church as merely the building and as an organization. everything should come to a balance I say.

Anyway, I am very happy this Christmas. I enjoy it in a totally different way. oouuuppsss... I think I am late now. I am volunteering to help preparing community Christmas. It's a christmas celebration that provide food for homeless on Christmas day and a day after. I am going now.. Ciao

"It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas"

I have just posted this sentence in my Facebook status. Yes! Indeed... it began to feel like Christmas to me.
Then you asked me... Is it because of our small Christmas tree perched on a small table next to our bed? 
"No, not that", I say
Is it because of the Christmas Cards you received which you display nest to the tree?
"Hmmm, not exactly that"
Is it because Christmas decoration you can see everywhere?"
"No No Not That too"
"Is it because all the yummy goodies, chocolate, biscuits, cookies and food you have baked?"
"Ha ha ha ha... certainly not... I don't even have a proper kitchen to roll the dough or bake cake"
"I know ... it is the carol song you sang!"
"Not that too... Which reminds me... I have caroling to go to this afternoon. But No not that"
"Uhmmmm, the snow... It is winter in wonderland - white Christmasy, right?
"Nope"
You scratch your head, beginning to feel irritated at me and at this guessing game...
I know soon you'll sulk and abandon this posting of mine. So OK... Let me tell you why...

.... silent ....

"Weeeeeeeellllllll",  you raised one eyebrow and make your 'well' go long with a hit of agitation

"I...", I stopped again. "I....", and stop again. "I don't think I know how to put it in words", I hear me say.

"I mean... few days ago I was irritated with the commercialized Christmas. But I think I am beginning to 'feel' the Christmas spirit. Not in the Christmas tree, not the decoration in the street corner - well, Brighton is not very festive in decoration either - Not the Cookies, which I have no place and apparatus to bake and certainly not the beautiful fluffy white snow - somehow lost a bit of it's beauty when they turned to mud that stick to your boots and magically transformed into icy road which... of course... makes walking ridiculously difficult. he he eh... I love snow still... Well... YEAH! I'm from a country with no snow unless in our highest mountain.OK OK OK OK... unimportant information.... Now back to the Feeeeeelllingg of Christmas.

Simon and I found ourselves doing very different things that we usually do.

We volunteered at Drop-In center that serves hot food to the homeless. Now, this is new for us.
We do not book a fancy restaurant for Christmas Dinner or spend humongous amount of money for Dinner party or food. We join the 2 days of Community Christmas arranged by our church, URC Brighthelm. It is to provide dinner, sit and eat together with homeless, lonely people and who ever it is who came.
The idea of us, substituting our money with unconditional giving really make this Christmas Special for me.

We have several Christmas cards now beautifully stand next to our tree reminds us how much love we receive from people. It's not about how many Christmas Card you receive but imagine this, We are new in this country still we find people lovingly wrote our address and send one card for us. the cards warmed our room more than the radiator... :-)

The tree, the decorations, the card etc are just the icing of the cake.
This Christmas I am blessed to be close to God once more, to understand and experience the spirit of Christmas in thanksgiving and in other things that matter more than money.
My husband and I witness God's work when we put our faith in God. We are never lack in ANYTHING. God always provide.
More and more I realized my shortcomings and have began to take one step at a time to be a better person.
I am fortunate to realize I have to put Jesus on the center stage to make my Christmas worth celebrating.
But how to do this... I found it difficult to put into words... you have to experience it...