What We’ve learned as 6 month old parents

1. The one and ONLY thing you need in raising a child is God! The source of wisdom, the Provider, the Strength and the Centre of Joy. Trust in God even in the smallest thing like changing a diaper.
2. Money is not necessarily the biggest problem. God has been opening doors and blessings had been flowing like rivers. SO no fear when money is short and a baby is coming. See point 1 above – Trust in God and all will be well. Take our words for it… We’ve been there and certainly, God provide even before we even think of it.
3. Your husband is no longer only your lover or best friend, he is the father of your child. Never neglect him or pushed him away from the exciting adventure of caring for the baby. If the father is willing and eager to be involved, include him and learn together. There’s a precious moment to a child to see her parent as one team.
4. (If you are lucky as I am, to live close/with one) Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles , Nephews and Nieces are great aides sent from above. These are your helpline. They come all geared up with tons of genuine love for your child and a sets of willing hands to help you, either rocking or playing iwht the baby so you can get that PRECIOUS several minutes rest.
5. Get rest whenever time allowed. Caring for a baby requires lots of energy (Can I Get an AMEN Ladies) and when Mommy is cranky – baby will be fussy too. A little rest will do wonders to keep your level of sane-ness and uplift your spirit.  – Use helpline – see point 3 and 4
6. If you think motherhood is tough, try switching your point of view to the father. Fatherhood is equally tough. Just because men/husband/father didn’t go through labor pains that doesn’t mean things are easier with them. They are also entering new phase of life with new perspective, new role and new responsibility.
7. If baby is throwing tantrums, bad mood day, growth spurt or things just don’t go right,… pray and say this to yourself… “This too will pass!” --
8. Baby Bjorn, Baby Walker (and perhaps other baby stuff for you) are important tools to put baby to sleep
9. There are no such thing as “She has too many pictures or video al ready”. Later in her years those snapshots will be the gems. You’ll find time to laugh and smile at them.
10. All those fancy  (read: Expensive) baby stuff, baby toys, baby clothes and baby utensils  are not necessary. Baby don’t care about brand names or how cool they look. They need good diapers, clean clothes and lots and lots of love – As for clothing, they’ll grow out of it in a blink
11. I find that having a baby give you more time and opportunity to have intimate time with God. Those long (lonely) nights of breastfeeding are my perfect time to chat  with God, to give thanks, to cry, to think and to listen, and most of all just to realize how blessed I am to be God’s partner in raising this beautiful gift in my arms. – (later then of course I will update my status on Facebook before going back to sleep)
12. Seeing Tania relies on us for her every single need, for love, for comfort and for protection enable me to understand my/our relationship with God. We call God, Our Father (Please no gender comments – let’s see this as a figurative language not about the patrimonial figure but rather a set of parents figure in one as a metaphor for parent-child relationship of God and us). Thus as parent and child relationship, I/we rely on God for our every need, eben the smallest one. Dear God, How on earth do I not praise you in my every breath, if like a child, I am dependent on You. You have thought of what I need and provide them on time. Verily God, You are amazing and I am humbled to find God who sees me as a child of Your own.
13. Be informed and be wise. Parenthood is not just tradition, habits and old-wives tale. You will get many advices – medically, spiritually or traditionally. Take them all aboard and use wisdom to go though them. We are new parent. They have has grown up, healthy and successful kids. So they do know a thing or two about raising a child. And YES, you don’t STUDY how to raise a child from a BOOK. But reading enables us to put sense to the advices whether it is beneficial for the baby medically, emotionally and physically. Some advices will be plain nonsense and dangerous but so many other traditional advices are proven helpful.
14. Baby sweat is the sweetest smell …. Hehehehehehe
15. The world is suddenly more exciting and full of new discoveries when we see it from our baby eyes – Discovering different smell, learn to sync hand and eye coordination to grab objects, learn to swallow your first food and how it taste etc
16. Be thankful for cicles of Momies – if you don’t have one, create one or join one. I am thankful for my many circles of Mommies those I met in real life and those I meet on internet. - - Circle of Mommies in Brighton, Circle of Ninety-Niners Mommies, Circle of Facebook Bible Study Mommies.
17. And of course, both Simon and I, are ever so thankful for our great parents. Being a parents ourselves, help us to understand, respect, and love our parents more. They have sacrificed a lot to get us to this time and state.

Trust me my initial list is actually longer and the list grow longer by the minutes. ^_^… But here’s is my sharing, may it be a blessing to those who reads – esp my fellow new mommies….

A letter to my better-half

Dear my boyfriend (still),

We had an awesome 3 years of marriage on our hand now.

Not yet as many as our parents but we give thanks for each passing year.

But we’re also dating each other for 10 years and will still continue to do so.

Thank you for these 3 and 10 years.

We have ride the wind hand in hand high and low

We fall and we bruised

But we get up and soar again.

We have done our best to be the wind in each other’s wings

So we may fly and reach the sky

Thank you, I have flown high and you have been the anchor and the solid ground I stand.

Thus, I don’t fly too high and get lost but stay rooted and remember who I really am.

We both have our weakness and strength

In 3 years of marriage and 10 years of dating

We have learned to work in-tune with each other

We have learned to understand, accept, respect and love each other

We have been together in each other weakest point and also in our strongest point

And now as we have been trusted with our bundle of joy, Tania.

I can’t say anything else, I thank God everyday for a great man as you are.

My wonderful husband and boyfriend,

My best friend and partner

The father of my child and the better-half of me

Thank you for always treating me lovingly (I’ll do my best on my part too)

Thank you for trusting me and believing in me

Thank you for loving my family as your own

Thank you for putting our love and life in God’s hand

Thank you for the fun, crazy and adventurous thing we’ve done together (and more to come)

Thank you for the best head and shoulder massage (available every time with/without request)

Thank you for caring for me during pregnancy (your wits help me survived)

Thank you for holding my hand on the delivery  room when Tania came to this world (actually, allowed your hand to be squeezed so hard by me to the point of bruising)  

Thank you for a hands-on, ever so ready and willing help in those first day of parent hood (thank you to Internet and bunch of friends and family on facebook for the tips and advices)

Thank you for not reside in being “Man-ly” and always there for me as we together care for Tania. Unlike any man or other father I know for sure.

You have shown me and Tania what a great man is made of.

 Hope one day she’ll be as blessed and as lucky as I am to find a man like you

Thank you for so many different things. I would like to say more but the list will go on and on

So I’m ending it with the most important thing

Thank you for choosing me…

Note on My Birthday

So I have another birthday. Another Year passed and many more years to fill with love and adventure.
Yes, I am now the big 3-0. Phew... that's a big number. I have been blessed abundantly, beyond my imagination and I am thanking God for all His love and grace.I am thanking my mom and dad for they have done one-hell-of-a-great job raising me, educating me and help me finding my own way. Imagine if they decided to ditch me even before i was born, or raise me badly. I can't imagine the result. But all in all, I know God has written each one of us a beautiful plan of life.

I had a wonderful birthday. This is rather an important milestones. As I said before, I'm in the big 3-0.
I had a wonderful early birthday surprise from my better-half (Thanks Honey. You're the best!)
My mom-in-law cook me a very special but sophisticated vegetable dish that took her hours to finish, plus baking me a roll-cake. I am so touched.
A funny, "it-happend-again" Birthday incident with my Mom... hehehehe...
Plus, My students gave me surprise gifts. Awww... thank so very much to Sally, Nenny, Doory, Christ and Berry. being with you is already a gift for me.

I woke up on Feb 14th, thinking what a rich person I am. I have countless Birthday greetings and many people who sends their love and blessing on my birthday. I have 2 families who love me unconditionally. Friends and family around the world. But I found my precious gift of all, lying next to me as I opened my eyes every morning. My better-half, Simon and our baby Tania. Thank you God for this wonderful life.

God according to Tania

I chatted with my baby girl, Tania, just few minutes ago. She's 7 weeks old now.
Praise God, she grows in wonders day by day. She is actively trying to engage and interact with us.
She can recognize both Simon and I and we are always awarded with her smiles and chuckles.
We both enjoy chatting with her. We will talk to her and she will coos, chuckles and smiles.
Just now, we are both alone and we busily chat about anything and nothing at all.

I asked her, "Do you still remember how God look like? Can You tell me how God looks like?"
She grins and pointed her fist at me... then chuckles again...

Indeed, She reminds me that my life is no longer mine and not only me... it is Jesus who live within me...
I have receive the grace of God who give His only Son to die for me... so my life is an adventure to let others to see God in me. Everyday of my life, just like Tania, is growing and learning to be more like Jesus.
For I am an Open Letter where everyone can read and realize how wonderful is to live with God. Thus I need to walk my life by the Word of God... I am not perfect but in Him I am made perfect only by His grace. Praise only be to God.

Today

Ever woke up feeling so low, mucky, unmotivated and feels like everything in the world is so wrong and has gone wrong?.... sigh... There are those days...I'm having one of them today that even praying felt so distance thing to do. I typed a suited word on my Facebook status and seconds later, my friends painted a smile on my face with their comments. Please, don't judge me for changing my Facebook status first instead of praying. I believe God spoke and relate to us in different ways and forms. It's His way of telling me it's OK to be low sometimes and reminding me that He is always with me. He has put those angels, my friends, whose comments made me smile - A blessed smile.

So here's a poem by Harriet Jenereaux, Merigomish, NS as my prayer and may it be your prayer too this morning. Thank you Jesus for a blessed Sunday Morning.

We do not know the future and we cannot change the past. Today is all we know about and it surely doesn't last. But while I have today, well, at least I have this minute, I want to take the time, Lord, to make sure that You are in it. I really want to thank you For the little things You do. The things I take for granted, For the forests that You've planted. The sky so blue, or grey or pink, These are things of which I seldom think. The grass in summer, such a pretty green So close it usually goes unseen. The flowers blowing in the fields The wind, to which each flower yields. The snow in winter, that covers our land Thy Word tells us each season's planned. Springtime is fresh with all things new And Autumn gives us a land of every hue. There is so much that You keep on giving, Family and friends and a life that's worth living. You've given me so much wealth And you top it off with my good health. But I must not forget to thank Thee today, For giving me a land where I'm free to pray, And a Bible to read and a church to attend. For these, I am thankful and will to the end And as always from deep within I want to thank You for atoning my sin. That sin would have doomed me to a Christless hell, But You bore it for me and You want me to tell So today I thank You, for a voice to speak, A computer to write on and people to seek. I thank Thee I was born in such an age That Your truth is freely on the printed page. There seems to be so many things That the more I think, my heart just sings. So I'll close my prayer today With "May these thoughts never go away".

Repost from my Old Blog

Photo from http://www.aswellas.co.nz/article.cfm?id=26

I am reading my old writings in my old blog in Friendster. Those writings made me smile, laugh, shed tears and inspire me. It's some sort of an introspection and a reminder of how God has been in my life. I must admit, after giving birth I thought I develop Agoraphobia... lol ^_^... Hehehehe... Don't worry it's not that serious. It is just a phase of adjusting to the new rhythms of life with Tania presence. Of course in the beginning, my body is recuperating but then it's a matter of how different it is now for us to go out. No longer I can pull up my boots or sneakers and head out. No longer can I go on with "No Plan is a good plan" scheme. I need to prepare Tania's this and that. Plus plan my route so if Tania wants to feed I know a place where I can breastfeed her. Then it's the matter of newbie to breastfeeding let alone breastfeeding in public place. Anyway, After 1 month now plus Simon's help in everything. I started to get the hang of things.
Now, let's get back to my old blog. I found this entry I posted in May 2006 on PMS - Pre-Menstrual Syndrom. It brought smile to me for I have been on the other side of my post. I Thank God that all turned out to be well. Tania is here... and everything happen in God's own time. So without further ado... here's the post

-------------------

PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrom)

May 26, 2006 by helenahelena

 

Last night, there was an earthquake. Quite hard, 7.5 Richter scale. Everybody ran out. I did too but after all is calm, I went back to sleep. My mother, father and other neighbor were still outside. This morning I woke up groggy and moody. I think it's because I cannot contact Simon last night. But on top of all I think its my PMS acting out.

Speaking of PMS, I have to admit that I hate to undergo that every month pain and emotional-abnormality but today I tried to think from a different perspective. 

If every month I encountered it with such hateful way.

I must be grateful and remember that...

There are women who beg the Lord to to gave them one,

even the most painful one they are willing to bear

Therefore, there will never be a baby born from her womb

without father or before marriage vows is said

If I wish I never have one all my life

I must be grateful and remember that... 

There are women impatiently waiting for years

For the monthly blessing to stop

Therefore they can joyously tell their husband

Of the new life that is on his/her way.

Oh Lord. Sometimes life is complicated but life is to be bear patiently. 

I’m thankful now that I still had my PMS

Therefore I don’t have to go panic

Because the pregnancy test turn double pink strip

And when my time comes

I wish it stop at the right time

For me to embrace the new life

Trusted on me to care.

 ---

The Birth of Mother and Father

"The moment a child is born, the mother (and the father) is also born. 

She (and he) never existed before. 

The woman (and the man) existed, but the mother (and the father), never. 

A mother (and a father) is something absolutely new."

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh - And I add the "father" part

Where should I begin? No words could ever describe this exuberance feeling I have at the moment. My baby Tania is 1 month old already. I thank God that she continues to be the Joy for every new day. It is incredible that only a little bit over 1 month ago I was this big walking light bulb shaped person. It is amazing how my little baby is now growing that she outgrown her clothes already. And it is (still) hard to believe that Simon and I are parents... A mother and a father. Surreal!!!

It all started in 08/09/10 ... They called is "Tanggal Cantik" - Beautiful date (formation). Whatever it is, that date marked a new milestone in the life both Simon's and mine. I love the caption that Simon put in one of the photo in Tania's Photo Folder, "The last dusk for the two.. a new beginning for three". It was a picture of a sun coming down above Brighton Pier and Brighton City taken from the window of my delivery room. Indeed, it was a new beginning.

Being a new parent... having a newborn babies entering your life is both exhilarating and frightening. No longer would I only think of myself and my husband. Somehow, I have to balance me, my husband and our baby. I am entering a world where I have no adequate knowledge and know-how. I am face to face with another human being with limited ability to communicate and I have to make sure I take her cues to fulfill her needs. I read the above quotes about the birth of a mother. I love it. I think it really describe what I felt about motherhood. When I was pregnant, I fancy the idea of being a mother, grinning at the addition to my name as
my friend called me "Mak Peanut or Mummy Peanut" (pssst... Tania was lovingly nicknamed Peanut when she was still in my womb). But it was never until I witness her arrival in the world that the word "mother" embraced me in its full sense. I have always been there, a daughter, a girl, a woman, a sister etc. These attributes are attached to me and I don't have to struggle to fit in their shoes. But being a mother is a matter of being born again.

As Christian, the term "born again" is usually use to describe those who attend pentecostal or evangelist churches. Now, I do not want to debate and going all out on the lecture of "Born again Christians" and those who do not attribute themselves to this term. Born-Again Chritian is someone who made a decision to solemnly put his/her trusts in the resurrected Jesus for forgiveness of their personal sin and lives their life in obedience to the laws of God’s kingdom. They have, in effect, been born again of the Holy Spirit. Ongoing submission to the Holy Spirit in their life enables Christians to live their lives as God wants. This decision is cemented in (adult) Baptism. So the emphasis of baptism is not only on the symbolic acts of water sprinkled over your head or being submerged from the water or the cross sign made by the priest but on the act of conscious decision. A decision I made to realize my wrongs, turn to follow the right path and surrender myself in God through Jesus Christ. Therefore, I am being born again by the Grace of God through the Son Jesus Christ. I am being born with new attitude towards life and with a new faith that my life is no longer mine but it is God and Jesus within me. - Note: being born again doesn't mean that we are saint and better than others - Being born again means living in ongoing, constant and continuous relationship with God, thus we do our best as human to walk in the path of the righteousness and to know that God is only a prayer away.

So being a mother is also being born again. A brand new person with new attitudes, new daily routines perhaps new principles and a mountain of new skills to learn and master. Breastfeeding, nappy change, burping, lullabies etc etc etc etc...After 1 month, I think I now started to get the hang of everything. Thank you to my friends, my sisters and my family for their support in my first days (and week) of my motherhood. Being a mother also draws me even closer to God. There's that feeling of being God's partner in bringing up this little human being. I fully believe that just as my life is, My baby's life has also been planned by God and I am working with God to raise her according to God's will. Psalm 139: 13-16 said, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

Anyway, I was enjoying the joy (and pain and struggle) of motherhood when I realize one very important thing that was missing from the quote I put above. Where is the father? Why they only mention mother? I watched my husband that day as he took the wet laundry out to dry in the sun and then came back in to neatly fold the dry ones. O My Lord how very selfish we are to bathe ourselves in glory of being a mother and slightly put a side the role of a father. The day Tania, our baby girl, was born... It wasn't only a mother that was born... father too. He is also totally new to this role and somehow never really sure where to fit in the limbo of pregnancy and giving birth that is so "exclusively" dominated by us women. 

He is half of this new human being. God created her, half of him and half of me. Therefore, we are equal. None of us is more important than others. I remember posting a comment on Adit's notes entry the other day about this man-woman relationship. I said "Man and woman needs each other. None of them are better than the other. I think we should ditch the use of degree of comparison in man-woman relationship. Nobody is "better than..." or "the best of...". We are created special with different qualities and capabilities that completed each other." - 

Most of the time when we visited newborn, we tend to give our attention to the baby and the mother. We coo at the baby, hug the mother, share the feeling sorry of their pain and share their joy of doing their job so well done. Then we turn to the father and congratulate him and told him to take good care of them. He will sat in one of the chair, sometimes in the corner or maybe he went outside to smoke while everyone circle around the mother and the baby. In this picture father is a complimentary additional objects. Not fully incorporated in the scene. which is a pity because Mums aren't the only ones who suffer emotional and physical meltdown when they're faced with first-time parenthood. Being a new Dad can be very stressful too. Simon was with me through out my labour and the birth of Tania. During my labour, he was there holding my hand, rubbing my back and being squeezed real hard when contraction hit hard. We are fortunate  for being in England, Fathers are encourage to be with the wife through out the process. In Indonesia, usually father waited outside, fidgeting while listening of his wife screaming, midwife instruction and then baby cry. Father's are being brushed aside because this is none of male's business. Women took over from here please...! *~*... As man, you stay outside and fulfill your duty to pay the hospital fee, earn enough to meet all mother's and baby need, understand mother's fragile feeling, help with the baby etc etc etc... Suddenly, we exclusively glorify woman in motherhood and neglected father in their early fatherhood too. Their role sometimes reduced to sperm donor, bodyguard, walking ATM machine, private driver, personal photographer and so on. Never in full recognition within "Motherhood".

Therefore, in recognition of my husband's role as husband, best friend, lover and father of my child, I add the word father to the quote. As the day a Mother is born, a Father is born too. Together, they should be the pair of wing which the child will fly high. Both wings are equal, strong, supportive and work in unison with each other. None is more important. None is better than the other. Indeed, it's a new beginning for three (or maybe four later)


- A big thank you and love to Simon - for his love and support. You are the best husband and the best father in the world -

Something that jump straight off my mind and dance on my keyboard

Membuncah dan begah

Terseok menahan remuk tulang

Pecah kulit tersengat

Cermin pun harus berbohong

Tubuh menetak

Pecah

Tanah yang meliat

Elastis

Tertarik

Terdorong

Terbanting

Peluh

Sakit

Tapi tak hancur

Bakar… bakarlah tembikar

Menghitam

Mengeras

Biar perapian memuntahkan benjana baru

Dari aku

Dari tanganmu

Punyamu

Untuk kami

Dekat

Belum pernah lebih dekat

Didalamku

Yang membuncah dan begah

Dekat

Dekat sekali


Menyemburat senyum 

Biar terpanggang

Biar luka

Aku dan benjanaku


Dekat
Dekat sekali

YES!!!! I'm included in the round up.

Uuuh Yeah!!! Oooh Joy!!! I am so so very happy.
My recent love story with cooking is finally shows some progress. Not just that I enjoy the cooking process or eating the result and lovin' Simon's yummifying it, but also in taking picture of it. I think my new love story is growing with food Photography.

In regards to this last love story i mention above, I finally made it to Cooking Community on Internet called Masak Bareng Yuuuk! I got to know and bookmarked several blog of much experienced friends and got really inspired.

Well, this month I decided that I'm brave enough to include my recipe and photo for this months theme Egg-Based Dish. Lucky for me, my better-half bought me a BBC cooking book and I found a simple recipe, Greek Salad omelet, that contain two of my fave food items, black olives and feta cheese. Plus, when it was done the smell and taste of parsley with cooked omelet was really divine. Simon, on the other hand, don't fancy olives. No biggie, he just have to chuck them to my plate. Anyway, I made it to the round up! Together with much experience friends I have been drooling over their blog all this time. To see the round up result click here.
Hehehehe... It's just a small thing of course... but it made me really happy to find a new hobby that I really enjoy. Who knows it can bring fortune one day. ^_^

And to my honey, Thanks for letting me borrow the camera plus cheering me upand ran around crazy taking picture of the food. Luv ya!!!

To get the complete recipe of Greek Salad Omelet click  here.

3 New Discoveries

Good Morning all!! At least it is morning here ini UK. 6. 45 am to be precise.
Anyhow, those 3 new discoveries are revelations, marks of a new beginning (???)
Babble... babble... bablle... in short

Discovery #1
I no longer fit in my clothes. At least the clothes I brought from Indonesia. Those I wish I can wear for summer. We were doing a bit of spring cleaning yesterday and finding time to sort through clothes. You know, winter has passed and summer is around the corner. Time to packed up the thick jackets shawls etc and put some colors and mini dresses \(^,^)/....
It's no biggie... I know... but learning to be realistic, I need to put aside, donate or throw away those clothes I love. C'Mon, it will probably be loooong time before i can fit in them again. By that time, I reckon I rather buy new ones.... HEY KA-CHING!!! YAY!!! blessing in disguise... a perfect reason for SHOPPING!!!

Discovery #2
Public toilets in Brighton, UK are awesome. I think I have befriended most of them. From supermarket's toilet, park toilet's, restaurant toilet's, railway and airport's toilet etc. I am very glad that they were all in great condition. Not smelly, clean and dry. oh well not germ free of course. C'Mon it's PUBLIC toilets.
But with my present condition I want to thank the council staff and volunteer workers who worked very hard keeping public toilet clean. People might underestimate and sometimes disrespect you, but you'all have done great to add to our comfort. THANK YOU!!!

Discovery #3
I loooove cooking. Surprisingly! Can't say I'm good at it. But I love the process and of course result. Best part is if it turned out to be (surprisingly) yummy - apart from surprise it is actually edible - is the nummy noise we made on the table yummifying the food. hehehehehe... Thanks to my better-half who never complained and always joyful to finish anything I put on the table.
With my ever increasing need and craving to eat, I have fun playing the role of financial manager. Making sure little can go a long way and still be nutritious, balance and healthy. So far so good....
And on promotional note... visit my foodie blog where I put complete recipe of my cooking. Mind you, it's beginner's cooking but fun enough to try.
Now, please agree with me.. there's no such things as I can't cook. Everyone can cook.
You just need to put aside time, be brave and have fun. What my better-half said, "cooking should be fun and daring. and Adventure". I mean he is getting good at cooking too. He's much daring and adventurous with ingredients and sometime put other ingredients (that we don't usually put) in his cooking and it turned out just as great as it is with his twist on it. Anyhow, try cooking and have fun...

Oh well, I am celebrating little things in life. Nothing in life is a coincidence. God is only too good for us.
Be blessed all